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beverages, vegan, chocolate, no-bake, sweet · May 4, 2014

Recovery and a Recipe

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I had never intended to write many personal posts about my journey with food. My plan was to talk about my experience with anorexia a bit in my bio and leave it at that. But after reading numerous honest and completely relatable posts by Gena and others on Choosing Raw, and a recent absorbing, personal post by Jenni of Wellness by Jenni, I was inspired to write my own.  Actually the writing was the easy part, it’s the putting it out to the world that takes nerve. So I have put into words some musings about recovery.

What is “recovery”?

Is it gaining weight?

To the outside world maybe, but inside my head it’s not.  Numbers are exact, but the body isn’t exact and the mind is definitely not exact.  Scales are exact to the decimal place, which is much too easy for my perfectionism to obsess over.  So I’ve let go of the number, and found peace of mind in not knowing, not obsessing.  Am I finding bliss and ignoring my problems?  Maybe.  But when I step back on the scale after a few weeks, find I’ve gained a pound, and find that I’m not freaking out inside I know that it’s still the right choice. Since weeks have passed, not one day, I can’t berate myself for the extra bite of chocolate yesterday or the gentle yoga session.  I can only attribute it to the natural and necessary process of healing.

Is it not having the thought, or is it just not acting on it?

I’ve heard from many people that have recovered that the thoughts are never one hundred percent gone.  Those thoughts and fears can still creep up if allowed back in.  If the thoughts are always close by, then is it a matter of recognizing them but not listening to them?  Is it a matter of discovering a stronger, rational voice rather than giving the irrational one free reign?  I can identify between the two: the rational, “normal” thoughts, and the irrational “anorexic” ones.  I don’t like to use the words “my anorexia” because it makes it seem like a thing of its own.  A thing that I can blame, a thing I can fight against.  In reality all the thoughts are mine.  If I think of it as a fight with sides and winners and losers, then that is what it will be: a battle.  And it is hard to harbor feelings of compassion and joy during battle.  So I think it is about following the rational thought instantly with joy, and without internally judging myself for failing.

Is it breaking the careful habits I’ve constructed?

I live in patterns, in routine.  I’ve created such a schedule unconsciously to avoid any possibility of mistake, any feeling of regret, any feeling of failure.  Moderation and balance weren’t considered in the calculation.  Once something becomes a habit, the line between want to and have to becomes really faint.  The world seems to think that consistency and order and schedules are good things, necessary things.  Sometimes for me, spontaneity is a lot healthier.

As I write this I’m realizing that it is all about my comfort zone.  Low numbers on the scale are inside of it, my irrational thoughts are inside of it, and my habits are inside of it.  Staying in these confines is convenient and takes no thought.  Stepping outside is scary.  A part of me adamantly protests, and another part sees the bliss that is possible out here.

That was deep, so here is a deep blue smoothie…

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Blueberry Cacao Smoothie

  • Prep Time: 5 minutes
  • Total Time: 5 minutes
  • Yield: 1 1x
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Ingredients

Scale
  • 1 cup frozen blueberries
  • 3/4 cup almond milk
  • 1 tbsp sweetener of choice (optional)
  • 1 tbsp cacao powder
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds

Instructions

  1. Blend everything, and drink right away or let it thicken for a few minutes.

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A delicious, desserty, banana-free smoothie.

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In: beverages, vegan, chocolate, no-bake, sweet · Tagged: anorexia, blueberry, cacao, chia, drinks, ED, recovery, smoothie

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Blueberry Walnut Coffee Cake! THE coffee cake for Blueberry Walnut Coffee Cake! THE coffee cake for cozy mornings while we count down days until spring☀️ Vegan and grain-free with an ultra moist fluffy crumb! Recipe below…

Cake
-3/4 cup (180g) non-dairy yogurt
-1/2 cup (125g) almond butter or tahini
-1/2 cup (160g) maple syrup
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-1/3 cup (40g) coconut flour
-1/3 cup (40g) tapioca flour
-2 tsp baking powder
-1/4 tsp salt
-1 cup blueberries (fresh or frozen)
Streusel
-1/4 cup (50g) coconut oil
-1/4 cup (35g) coconut sugar
-2 tbsp (15g) coconut flour
-1 tsp cinnamon
-1/4 cup (30g) chopped walnuts

Preheat the oven to 350F. Whisk together yogurt, nut butter, maple syrup, and vanilla. Add dry ingredients and mix to combine. Gently fold in the berries. Spread into a greased or lined baking dish (mine was 9x6”). In a small bowl combine all the crumble ingredients. Mix with a fork until clumpy. Sprinkle evenly over the top of the cake batter and press in gently. Bake for 38-40 minutes (the center should feel firm to the touch when it’s done). Remove from the oven, cool for at least 30 minutes before slicing.

#veganbaking #coffeecake #glutenfreevegan #brunchrecipes
Some recipes are worth splurging on dairy-free whi Some recipes are worth splurging on dairy-free white chocolate and this is DEFINITELY one of them🤎🤍 That decadent chocolate + peanut butter + coconut middle 1000% deserves the creamy coating and sprinkle finish, trust me💗 Recipe below…

Vegan White Chocolate Valentine’s Truffles
-1 package @emmysorganics Dark Cacao Coconut Cookies
-1/4 cup (65g) almond or peanut butter
-1/3 cup (60g) dark chocolate chips, melted
-Pinch of salt
-1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-8oz vegan white chocolate.
-Optional: natural pink sprinkles + 1/4 cup more melted dark chocolate for topping

Melt the white chocolate. Pour a small spoonful into the bottom of each cavity of the mold, and tilt to coat the bottom and up the sides of each heart. Freeze. Set aside the remaining white chocolate. Melt the dark chocolate chips. In a food processor combine the Dark Cacao Coconut Cookies, almond/peanut butter, melted chocolate, salt, and vanilla. Process until smooth, it should be the consistency of a thick brownie batter. Place about 2 tsps of the chocolate mixture into each heart and press to flatten. Cover with remaining melted white chocolate. Chill until chocolate is set. Carefully remove from the molds. Optionally drizzle with more dark chocolate and top with sprinkles. Enjoy!

#veganchocolate #valentinesrecipes #vegantruffles #healthydesserts
Its #nationalmedjooldateday 🥳🥳 I have wayyyy Its #nationalmedjooldateday 🥳🥳 I have wayyyyyy too many medjool recipes on the blog to mention, so I picked this friday-easy, highly-fudgy, personal fave: No-Bake Vegan Chocolate Cream Pie!

Four ingredient chocolate crumb crust. Three ingredient date-sweetened cream filling. Its truly TOO simple and TOO good❤️

Crust
-2 cups almonds (or nuts of choice)
-1/2 cup cocoa powder
-1/2 tsp salt
-1/4 cup coconut oil
Filling
-12oz unsweetened chocolate, melted
-3 cups non-dairy milk 
-1 cup (10-12) pitted medjool dates (@ndmedjooldates are my favorite!)

Blend almonds, cocoa powder, and salt. Add the coconut oil. Blend until the texture is moist and crumbly. Press into the bottom of a pie pan and up the sides.

Blend the milk and dates on high until very smooth. Add melted chocolate and blend until combined. Pour into the crust and smooth the top. Refrigerate (creamier more like a pudding/mud pie) or freeze (firmer texture) overnight, or for at least 8 hours. Slice and enjoy!

https://feastingonfruit.com/no-bake-vegan-chocolate-cream-pie-2/
Channeling sweet summer energy into this chilly wi Channeling sweet summer energy into this chilly winter week with a Dark Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake Bar closeup🍫❤️ Swap in any berry you love (big big fan of the tart raspberry tang though😋), but you need a bite of this lush dairy-free filling on top of @emmysorganics dark cacao cookie crust situation. Recipe below…

Crust
-1 package Emmy’s Organics Dark Cacao Cookies
-1/4 cup (30g) almond flour
-2 tbsp (50g) coconut oil
Filling
-2 cups (360g) raw cashews, soaked 3+ hours then drained
-1 cup (240g) full fat coconut milk
-1/3 cup (105g) maple syrup
-2 tbsp lemon juice
-1 tbsp lemon zest
-1 tsp vanilla extract
Swirl
-1 1/2 cup (180g) fresh raspberries
-2 tbsp coconut sugar
-1-2 tbsp water

Combine crust ingredients in a food processor. Process until cookies are broken down and mixture begins to clump together. Press firmly into the bottom of a loaf pan lined with parchment paper. Blend the filling ingredients until very smooth and creamy. Pour on top of the crust. Combine berries, coconut sugar, and water in a small saucepan. Simmer over medium-high heat for 5-7 minutes stirring frequently until it begins to thicken and become syrupy. Smash with a fork until the berries are mostly broken down.  Spoon on top of the cheesecake mixture and use the back of a spoon to swirl. Freeze overnight. Slice into bars and enjoy. Keep leftovers in the freezer. 

#nobakecheesecake #veganrecipes #healthydessert
Spiced Chocolate Chip Cookie Brittle! Think: choco Spiced Chocolate Chip Cookie Brittle! Think: chocolate chip cookie but ULTRA thin and crispy with a layer of dark chocolate underneath and a touch of holiday spice🍪🎄The combination of almond flour and yummy @sunbutter makes this brittle rich and “buttery”😋 Plus vegan, grain-free, and exceptionally giftable! 

New recipe on the blog! Link in my bio✨ https://feastingonfruit.com/spiced-chocolate-chip-cookie-brittle/

#vegancookies #christmascookies #holidaybaking #cookiebrittle #glutenfreebaking #feedfeed #veganpaleo
Is it even christmas time without a gingerbread cu Is it even christmas time without a gingerbread cutout cookie + sprinkles moment??🎄

This is my fave vegan and paleo recipe—super moist and tender with almond flour, heavy on the molasses, with a pop of lemon, and they’re oil-free!

Ingredients
-1/2 cup coconut sugar
-1/4 cup almond butter (or any nut/seed butter)
-1/4 cup molasses
-1 tbsp lemon juice
-2 tsps ginger
-1 tsp cinnamon
-1/4 tsp cloves
-1/2 tsp baking soda
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-2 cups almond flour (oat flour option linked in my bio!)

Whisk coconut sugar, almond butter, molasses, and lemon juice until combined. Add the rest of the ingredients and mix/knead to form a ball of dough. Roll out the dough to 1/4 inch thickness between two pieces of wax paper. Chill dough flat for 30 minutes. Cutout cookies with a cookie cutter, then use a spatula to carefully transfer to a baking sheet lined with parchment paper. Bake for 10 minutes at 350F or until golden around the edges. You can re-roll/cut the excess dough. Cool completely. Decorate (I used melted coconut butter + matcha for the “glaze”) and enjoy!

https://feastingonfruit.com/gingerbread-cutout-cookies/
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New recipe on the blog🐢 Link in my bio!

https://feastingonfruit.com/turtle-thumbprint-cookies/
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https://feastingonfruit.com/sugar-cookie-tart/

#vegancookies #christmascookies #holidaybaking #sugarcookies #glutenfreebaking #feedfeed
This is not just a candy cane cupcake, this is a C This is not just a candy cane cupcake, this is a CAFFEINATED candy cane cupcake a.k.a. fluffy rich dark chocolate Peppermint Mocha Cupcakes❤️☕️🍫 Naturally sweetened, vegan and grain-free, and with a few different fudge frosting options. Recipe linked in my bio!

https://feastingonfruit.com/peppermint-mocha-cupcakes/
If eating ice cream in December is wrong then…I’ll take your bowl🙋🏻‍♀️🎄🍨

GINGERBREAD BLENDER ICE CREAM with molasses and spices and copious cookie crumbles of course🍪 Recipe below, happy friday!

4-5 frozen bananas
2 tbsp molasses
1/2 tsp ground ginger
1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp lemon juice
Gingerbread cookies, crumbled (link to my fave vegan/gf recipe in my stories!)

Blend everything except the cookies in a high speed blender or food processor until creamy and smooth. Add half of the cookie crumbles. Blend briefly to combine. Spread into a shallow pan or dish. Sprinkle more cookie crumbles on top. Freeze for at least 2 hours. Scoop into bowls, top with more cookies, enjoy!

https://feastingonfruit.com/gingerbread-nice-cream/

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