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vegan, beverages, chocolate, no-bake, sweet · May 4, 2014

Recovery and a Recipe

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I had never intended to write many personal posts about my journey with food. My plan was to talk about my experience with anorexia a bit in my bio and leave it at that. But after reading numerous honest and completely relatable posts by Gena and others on Choosing Raw, and a recent absorbing, personal post by Jenni of Wellness by Jenni, I was inspired to write my own.  Actually the writing was the easy part, it’s the putting it out to the world that takes nerve. So I have put into words some musings about recovery.

What is “recovery”?

Is it gaining weight?

To the outside world maybe, but inside my head it’s not.  Numbers are exact, but the body isn’t exact and the mind is definitely not exact.  Scales are exact to the decimal place, which is much too easy for my perfectionism to obsess over.  So I’ve let go of the number, and found peace of mind in not knowing, not obsessing.  Am I finding bliss and ignoring my problems?  Maybe.  But when I step back on the scale after a few weeks, find I’ve gained a pound, and find that I’m not freaking out inside I know that it’s still the right choice. Since weeks have passed, not one day, I can’t berate myself for the extra bite of chocolate yesterday or the gentle yoga session.  I can only attribute it to the natural and necessary process of healing.

Is it not having the thought, or is it just not acting on it?

I’ve heard from many people that have recovered that the thoughts are never one hundred percent gone.  Those thoughts and fears can still creep up if allowed back in.  If the thoughts are always close by, then is it a matter of recognizing them but not listening to them?  Is it a matter of discovering a stronger, rational voice rather than giving the irrational one free reign?  I can identify between the two: the rational, “normal” thoughts, and the irrational “anorexic” ones.  I don’t like to use the words “my anorexia” because it makes it seem like a thing of its own.  A thing that I can blame, a thing I can fight against.  In reality all the thoughts are mine.  If I think of it as a fight with sides and winners and losers, then that is what it will be: a battle.  And it is hard to harbor feelings of compassion and joy during battle.  So I think it is about following the rational thought instantly with joy, and without internally judging myself for failing.

Is it breaking the careful habits I’ve constructed?

I live in patterns, in routine.  I’ve created such a schedule unconsciously to avoid any possibility of mistake, any feeling of regret, any feeling of failure.  Moderation and balance weren’t considered in the calculation.  Once something becomes a habit, the line between want to and have to becomes really faint.  The world seems to think that consistency and order and schedules are good things, necessary things.  Sometimes for me, spontaneity is a lot healthier.

As I write this I’m realizing that it is all about my comfort zone.  Low numbers on the scale are inside of it, my irrational thoughts are inside of it, and my habits are inside of it.  Staying in these confines is convenient and takes no thought.  Stepping outside is scary.  A part of me adamantly protests, and another part sees the bliss that is possible out here.

That was deep, so here is a deep blue smoothie…

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Blueberry Cacao Smoothie

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  • Prep Time: 5 minutes
  • Total Time: 5 minutes
  • Yield: 1 1x
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Ingredients

Scale
  • 1 cup frozen blueberries
  • 3/4 cup almond milk
  • 1 tbsp sweetener of choice (optional)
  • 1 tbsp cacao powder
  • 1 tbsp chia seeds

Instructions

  1. Blend everything, and drink right away or let it thicken for a few minutes.

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A delicious, desserty, banana-free smoothie.

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In: vegan, beverages, chocolate, no-bake, sweet · Tagged: anorexia, blueberry, cacao, chia, drinks, ED, recovery, smoothie

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Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart BARS🤎 Everyone’ Brown Sugar Cinnamon Pop Tart BARS🤎 Everyone’s favorite cozy spiced pop tart flavor but with no pastry crimping required! 

Gooey sweet brown sugar (or coconut sugar!) filing baked inside two layers of buttery crust and topped with a drizzly cinnamon glaze😋😋 And that delicious dough is completely vegan and gluten-free made with almond flour, coconut flour, and @edwardandsons Let’s Do Organic Cornstarch!

DOUGH
-3 cups (336g) almond flour
-1/3 cup (42g) @edwardandsons Let’s Do Organic Cornstarch
-1/4 cup (30g) coconut flour
-1/4 tsp salt
-1/3 cup (105g) maple syrup
-3/4 (150g) coconut oil, melted
-1 tsp vanilla extract

“BROWN SUGAR” FILLING
-1 cup (160g) coconut sugar (or brown sugar)
-1 tablespoon cinnamon
-2 tablespoons (25g) coconut oil, melted
-2 tablespoons (32g) nut/seed butter
-1 teaspoon vanilla extract

CINNAMON GLAZE
-2 cups (240g) powdered sugar
-1 tsp cinnamon
-1 tbsp @edwardandsons Let’s Do Organic Cornstarch
-1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-1-2 tbsp almond milk

Preheat the oven to 325°F and line an 8 x 8” baking dish with parchment paper and/or grease. Whisk together almond flour, cornstarch, coconut, flour, and salt. Add in maple syrup, coconut oil, and vanilla. Mix to form a dough. Press half of the dough into the bottom of the prepared pan, and roll out the rest between two sheets of wax paper into an 8 x 8” square. Freeze the rolled out dough. 

Use a fork to mix together the brown sugar filling ingredients to a wet sand consistency. Sprinkle/spread a generous layer of the filling on top of the bottom shortbread layer. Carefully place the rolled out dough on top of the filling, fixing any corners as necessary. Bake for 30-35 minutes at 325°F until golden brown. Cool completely before glazing.

Whisk together glaze ingredients until smooth. Use an offset spatula to spread on top of the bars. Refrigerate until glaze is set. Slice and enjoy!

#brownsugarcinnamon #poptarts #veganglutenfree
CINNAMON APPLE MINI CHEESECAKES🍏 Another treat CINNAMON APPLE MINI CHEESECAKES🍏 Another treat that perfectly toes that early fall line of cozy flavors but easy no-bake prep!

CRUST
6-8 pitted medjool dates
1 cup oats or nuts
Pinch of salt

CHEESECAKE
-1 1/2 cups raw cashews, soaked and drained
-1/4 cup maple syrup or agave
-3 tbsp coconut oil
-1/2 cup full-fat coconut milk
-2 tbsp lemon juice
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-Pinch of salt

CINNAMON APPLES
-1 granny smith apple, finely diced
-2 tbsp maple syrup or coconut sugar
-1 tsp cinnamon

INSTRUCTIONS
Blend the crust ingredients in a food processor until sticky and cohesive. Press a little disc into the bottom of a mini muffin pan (place a strip of parchment paper in each up for easier removal).

Blend filling ingredients until very smooth. Toss diced apples with the maple syrup and cinnamon until evenly coated and juicy. Fold/swirl into the cheesecake base. Spoon on top of the crusts, filling each to the top (makes 12-18 minis)

Freeze overnight. Defrost about 5 minutes, then gently remove from the pan using the parchment strips or a dull knife to pop them out. Enjoy!

#applecinnamon #nobakecheesecake #healthydessertrecipes
DAIRY-FREE PUMPKIN SPICE CREAMI🧡 The fall-flavo DAIRY-FREE PUMPKIN SPICE CREAMI🧡 The fall-flavor-in-summer-form treat you need until the temps really cool off (and probably well after that if you’re anything like me #icecreamyearround)

High-protein, dairy-free, fruit-sweetened, and full of warm cozy pumpkin spice! It legit tastes JUST like the middle of a pumpkin pie, especially if you mix-in some granola or cookie crumbles for that crunchy crust element😋👌

INGREDIENTS
-1 cup light coconut milk (or cashew milk)
-1/2 cup non-dairy yogurt
-1/4 cup pumpkin puree
-2 pitted medjool dates OR 1 tbsp maple syrup
-1 scoop/serving protein powder
-1/2 tsp vanilla extract
-1 tsp pumpkin pie spice
-1/8 tsp salt

Full details on my website → @feastingonfruit link in bio✨

#ninjacreami #dairyfreeicecream #pumpkinicecream
Annnnnnd it’s september! Obviously I had to shar Annnnnnd it’s september! Obviously I had to share something pumpkin spiced to start off the month🎃 Think three musketeers texture but healthier, pumpkin spice inside, and dark chocolate to coat🍫🧡

INGREDIENTS
-1 cup (250g) pumpkin puree
-1/2–2/3 cup water
-8–10 pitted (160g) medjool dates
-1 tbsp pumpkin pie spice
-pinch of salt
-3/4 cup (85g) coconut flour
-1 cup (170g) dark chocolate chips

Blend pumpkin, dates, 1/2 cup water, spice, and salt. Add more water slowly as necessary until you have a thick paste. Transfer to a mixing bowl and stir in coconut flour until you have a ball of dough. Shape into a rectangle approximately 3/4 inch thick. Freeze for at least 2 hours until firm.

Melt the chocolate chips (optionally add 1-2 tablespoons of coconut oil for a thinner/smoother coating). Remove the dough from the freezer and slice into 12 rectangles. Dip each into the melted chocolate coating on all sides. Transfer to a pan or plate lined with wax paper. Refrigerate until the chocolate is set. Store in the fridge.

#pumpkinspiceeverything #veganchocolate #healthydesserts
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New recipe on my site → @feastingonfruit link in bio✨
NO-CHURN CHOCOLATE SOFT SERVE🤎 Spooning down da NO-CHURN CHOCOLATE SOFT SERVE🤎 Spooning down dairy-free soft serve daily until the weather forces me to switch to stop🍦 If you don’t own a creami, THIS is the ultimate easy blender method!

INGREDIENTS
-15oz can coconut milk
-1 cup nut/seed butter of choice (I used sunbutter)
-1/4 cup maple syrup
-1/2 cup cocoa powder
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-1/2 tsp salt
-Toppings of choice

Pour coconut milk (shake before opening) into an ice cream tray and freeze overnight . Blend the cubes + remaining ingredients in a high speed blender until smooth. You will need to use the tamper and stop to scrape down the sides frequently, try to avoid adding extra liquid. Spoon into bowls as is. Or transfer to a piping bag, freeze for 30 mins or so, then swirl into bowls or cones for the “froyo” look. Top and enjoy!

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MONSTER COOKIE GRANOLA BARS! A wholesome happy any MONSTER COOKIE GRANOLA BARS! A wholesome happy anytime snack, but especially back-to-school perfect. You could even double the batch depending on how fast your house will devour them😜 

With chewy oatmeal cookie vibes, mini morsels of chocolate, one bowl prep, and an easy ingredient list🍪🤎🌈 Made with @edwardandsons Let’s Do Organic Sweetened Condensed Coconut Milk as the sweetener, the sticky binder, and the best caramel-y flavor. Plus an optional protein boost (and a nut-free option!) 

INGREDIENTS
-3 cups (240g) rolled oats
-1/3 cup (45g) vanilla protein powder 
-2 tbsp (20g) chia seeds
-1/2 tsp salt
-1 14oz can @edwardandsons Let’s Do Organic Sweetened Condensed Coconut Milk
-1/2 cup (125g) peanut butter (or SunButter for nut-free)
-1 tsp vanilla extract
-1/2 cup (80g) mini chocolate chips
-1/2 cup candy coated chocolate candies (vegan brand I used linked in my stories)

Preheat the oven to 350°F and line an 8x8” pan with parchment paper or grease. In a large bowl, stir together oats, protein powder, chia seeds, and salt. Add in peanut butter, sweetened condensed coconut milk, and vanilla. Mix until evenly combined and sticky. Fold in chocolate chips and candies. Press the mixture firmly into the prepared pan. Bake for 25-28 minutes. Cool completely before slicing (or even chill first to minimize crumbles)

#monstercookies #veganglutenfreerecipes #healthysnacks
COOKIES & CREAM PIE (made without any oreos🤫) B COOKIES & CREAM PIE (made without any oreos🤫) But I pinky promise you won’t miss ‘em after one forkful of this glorious no-bake cream pie!

CRUST
-4 cups (140g) crispy rice cereal
-1/4 cup (25g) dark cocoa powder
-1/2 cup (125g) nut/seed butter
-1/3 cup (105g) maple syrup
-1/4 tsp salt

FILLING
-16oz dairy-free cream cheese
-1 cup (240g) coconut cream
1/2 cup (125g) chocolate nut/seed butter
-3/4 cup powdered sugar
-1 tsp vanilla extract 

Process the cereal to very fine crumbs. Add the rest of the crust ingredients and process to a wet sand consistency. Remove 1 cup and set aside. Transfer the remaining crumbs to a 9″ pie dish, pressing in very firmly to cover the bottom and sides. Bake 15 minutes at 375°F. Refrigerate.

Combine cream cheese, coconut cream, chocolate nut/seed butter, and vanilla in a mixing bowl. Whip with a hand mixer until combined and fluffy. Add the powdered sugar and continue beating until combined. Fold in the reserved crumbs. Spread into the chilled crust, and refrigerate overnight. Top with coconut whipped cream, chocolate chips, chocolate drizzle, etc before slicing and serving.

#cookiesandcream #nobakedessert #veganchocolate
VEGAN GF ZUCCHINI BREAD💚 A soft zucchini loaf w VEGAN GF ZUCCHINI BREAD💚 A soft zucchini loaf with the perfect fluffy crumb and a delicious sweet topping. It’s the perfect august bake – summer produce meets fall-is-coming spice!

New recipe on my site → @feastingonfruit link in bio✨
BLUEBERRY PROTEIN ICE CREAM🫐 another dairy-free BLUEBERRY PROTEIN ICE CREAM🫐 another dairy-free ninja creami recipe coming’ atcha with my fave sweet summer berry and an extra silky texture thanks to @sunbutter [a d] in the mix!

Recipe on my website → @feastingonfruit link in bio💜

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