To everyone who thinks I’m still vegan, no I am not.
And I haven’t been for a while now. It’s not a secret, I haven’t been hiding it. But my recipes are all still vegan, so I understand the confusion.
Maybe it’s the fresh-start feeling of new year that motivated me to share this today. It’s been more than a year since I made the decision to not be vegan, but a year ago I wasn’t ready to write this post. I wasn’t sure enough in my own choice and reasons.
Or maybe it’s because I’m tired of having to explain myself in the comments every time I post a recipe on instagram that uses collagen or a video with an egg option. I’m tired of the small but ever-present sense of judgement I feel, and instinctual urge to defend myself to those that disagree or take offense.
I don’t have a perfect response to every emotionally-fraught animal cruelty video and plant-based documentary out there. But I’m not here to speak on behalf of everyone who isn’t vegan. I’m not here to preach any diet to anyone. I’m here to be me and share authentically, but I feel like I can’t do that with this hovering misconception in the way. And sometimes authenticity means speaking a truth that I know some people don’t want to hear.
I wrote a post called Things Change last year when I decided to no longer be vegan. I still stand by all the reasons in that post, but my perspective and reasons have broadened a lot since then. At first it was mostly about physical well-being but a year later the mental well-being piece is SO much bigger to me.
I truly believe many people are vegan for all the right reasons—the animals, the environment, because it makes them happy. I also believe many people are vegan for the NOT right reasons—weight loss, identity, a respected excuse to avoid foods. I went vegan for the right reasons, but eventually it became the wrong ones. It became this safe identity to avoid eating out and birthday party cupcakes and the majority of pre-packaged foods.
It’s awesome to be different and stand up for your values, but not if it’s done from a place of fear. Fear of the unfamiliar, of judgement, of having to admit you were wrong if/when things change. At the time it didn’t feel like fear for me, but in retrospect I know it partly was. And for me it took a big shift to break out of that place.
It still shocks me every time someone says they can no longer watch my recipe videos or follow my blog since I am not vegan even though my recipes all still are. Not will not, but CANnot—as if it’s not a choice. Maybe it shouldn’t shock me, but it does. It also makes me wonder if there was a time when I was vegan and would’ve done or said the same thing. I honestly don’t now, it’s impossible to put myself back in that mindset when my perspective has since shifted so much since. But I like to hope I always remained open-minded to the fact that there is no one perfect way to approach food.
Often I will receive a comment or email about a recipe or substitution, and I can sense a very relatable fear underneath the words. Fear of caloric content or high fat ingredients or sugar. I’ve been there, I know those worries well. And that is EXACTLY why I have started posting more recipes with nut butter and coconut milk and sugar and collagen even.
Because life isn’t supposed to be spent worrying about cookies, and cookies taste a helluva lot better when you don’t worry about them. Two things I know to be true. But two things it personally took broadening my diet to include all foods for me to KNOW truly.
This post isn’t meant to be defensive or judgmental, I just wanted to share my thoughts and have a place to refer to that explains why I am no longer vegan better than I can in a comment reply.
Ultimately it’s your diet, your decision, your story, your cookie—just be sure you are choosing it for the right reasons. And please don’t judge someone else for choosing chocolate chip even if you choose snickerdoodle. Unless it’s those absurdly crunchy mini chocolate chip cookie rocks, then go ahead and judge.
Thank you for reading ♡
New non-metaphorical cookie coming soon!
I’m vegan and noticed some non vegan things a while ago. It doesn’t bother me a bit. Your recipes are delicious and I appreciate your generosity in sharing your creations with such healthy vegan options. No explanation required or desired – your life – your choice!
Thank you Colleen for reading and being so supportive. I still love baking vegan and will continue to share, just wanted to clear up any confusion, but I completely agree 🙂
I wish I had found this months earlier. Thank you for the sensible voice. I’m not a vegan nor a vegetarian as a matter of fact but I do support people who do it for “the right reasons”. And I do follow a lot of people who are in fact vegan. To me, the recipes and the positive vibe still remain the most important.
Appreciate you reading and relating Maggie❤️ I am all for doing what feels right to you even if it doesn’t fit into any pretty little box!
I agree 110%. Your recipes are fabulous and healthy and you create them with love and care. Your vegan status is not an issue for me and should not be for anyone else. Be who you are and you will never go wrong. Thanks for being you, Natalie!!!!!!
Aw thank you so so much for reading and for the kind words Lydia! I appreciate your open mindedness, and completely agree on ALWAYS being who you are😊 Much love and happy weekend to you❤️
I haven’t followed your blog, but did come across this post today and loved it. I was happily a vegan for six years before I developed anorexia and multiple food sensitivities. The mental health factor is especially true, and I think this is horribly overlooked in the vegan community. Like you, I have come to see a lot of questionable things in vegan culture – dogma, pseudoscience, orthorexia – and these things do need to be pointed out.
I too have come to let go of my shame over compromising my ethics. Indeed, you gotta do what’s best for you. And I still think doing your best is better than nothing at all.
Also, have you ever checked out Unnatural Vegan? She’s pro-freeganism, anti-food waste, etc. She’s one of few who really seem to get it right.
Yes yes yes–I completely agree Sarah! I wish more people would talk about it because it’s so easy to fall into disordered eating via veganism online, I can think of many vegan IG/YT accounts I used to follow that really promote a fear of non-vegan foods and it’s easy to get caught up in it. I am really happy you have found a more mentally balanced and shame-free place too 🙂 I have watched Unnatural Vegan’s videos before but it’s been a while, I think she was fully vegan last I knew. I will check her out again though, thanks for letting me know!
Yep … Unnaturally Vegan is awesome and very level headed but everyone changes through their life .. if you don’t grow then life because static and no new lessons are learnt. You do what’s right for your mental, physical and social health.
Hi there! I’ve just recently started following your instagram and can’t wait to try the many recipes that have caught my eye! I just wanted to say, after reading this, that it takes so much courage and honesty to make such a change and then to share it so openly and authentically. Thank you for so kindly posting your recipes and bringing more ‘cookie-love’ into our lives!
I truly appreciate you reading this one even it there isn’t a yummy recipe at the end. Speaking up about not choosing my own non-vegan path despite the internet pressure definitely gets easier with time and distance, but your support means a lot to me and makes it easier too <3 I hope you pick a recipe to try soon!
Amen, girl! This is exactly how I feel/where I am at with things. Diet labels gotta go, ya know! As long as what we’re doing is genuine, there’s no judgment allowed! People evolve. I mean, look at how we have grown as creatives and food bloggers over the years!! My initial blog photos were AWFUL. And that means our diets, taste preferences and bodies’ needs change too. Thank you for sharing what is often unspoken. Your recipes and writing are more inspiring/inspired then ever, which is why I read every one of your posts. Keep doing you!
Can we make that a trend in 2018–no more labels? YESSSS!! Thank you for relating and haha yes looking back at blog photos from 2 years ago is the ultimate reminder that we are always changing (and THANK GODONESS for that on the photo thing😂) Aw I appreciate your support more than you know, and I hope to do more non-recipe posts this year too. When they flow and feel inspired of course😊
So much respect for you for sharing what has been on your heart! I totally agree with every word in this post and think that it’s important to accept that people may be on a ‘spectrum of veganism’. In fact, a plant-centered diet may be more appealing to omnivores if it’s presented in a less demanding, less stringent, less judgmental manner. To be honest, with the rate of eating disorders on the rise, I don’t think categorizing and labeling diets is healthy at all. What would you call a person who mostly eats vegan but eggs and dairy occasionally? Vegans wouldn’t welcome them into their group and vegetarians would probably think they’re ‘too vegan’. Anyways, I’m beginning to ramble but I just wanted to let you know that YOU ARE AWESOME and to stand your ground despite any backlash from the vegan community, Because if you’re truly trying to encourage others to limit animal products, any step towards plant-based eating should be a success!
I loved the way you phrased that “what has been on my heart”–that is the perfect description and feels so accurate. It always feels much better when put into words and shared, makes more sense even to me to write it all out 🙂 I absolutely agree, it is all just one big spectrum and I certainly find myself still gravitating towards vegan meals all the time just because I love those foods. The best way to eat is taking a little bit from all the diets and leaving behind all the labels I think. I truly appreciate you reading this one and your supportive feedback Rachel, thank you <3
Hi there!
(sorry for the big comment I’m so bad at thinking straight!)
As you might remember, I keep flooding your instagram account with all your recipes I loved making so much. 🙂
I must say I was super surprised when I saw your post on instagram about this article. I must say, it always crumbles my heart to read people stopped being vegan. In my mind, one can’t stop being vegan, as I think this is the best choice for every reason (you named them). The first time I heard someone say “I used to be vegan” I was completely shocked. But I am not this person and I am not you and if for your own good you made this decision I cannot judge, I don’t know all the facts. Also, I am pretty sure one person going from vegan to whatever they won’t have the same consumption as prior becoming vegan (for the right reasons).
Anyway, I completely agree with the danger of the wrong reasons you talked about. Before and after going vegan I wondered if I would be taken seriously because I was not super fit and couldn’t eat loads of vegan food without putting on weight. But a while back now I realized I could actually make veganism seem less “specific to a body type”, less “strange” or less unattainable because more people could relate. So I’m happy with my body and myself. I am confident that down the road of a decade or two a vegan diet will have brought me more good than bad (it has so far but I’ve been vegan for a year and a half only) but I can understand mental health enough to know it has to be one’s number one priority. I wish veganism was only about being more compassionate and not a bunch of specific high carb low fat hundreds of bananas lifestyles.
Oh gosh my thoughts are going all over the place! haha.
Ultimately I just wanted to say I was surprised and a bit disappointed because I would like everyone to go vegan but that being said I’m happy you are happy however you live your life and I will continue to enjoy your beautiful vegan recipes! I do know that I wouldn’t want to watch your videos if they contained non vegan products but since it is not the case so far I’m good and if that ever happens well it’s your videos, your blog, your work, your recipes so even then I’d have nothing to say!
Hehe yes of course I know you, I always love seeing what you are baking up on IG! Thank you for reading and I never mind the rambles 🙂 I absolutely respect your viewpoint and I am thrilled that veganism works so well for you. It is a beautiful thing to find a way of eating and living that aligns with your body and your heart. You are absolutely correct, being vegan for so many years I still find myself eating lots of plant based meals just because I love them. I don’t regret all the wonderful foods it opened my eyes and palate too. I wish veganism was truly about compassion too and wasn’t twisted into strict rules and dietary guidelines. The compassion part is the most important part, and part of that is compassion for ourselves and prioritizing mental health is part of that. Thank you for reading. At this point all my recipes and videos will still be vegan, but your support regardless means a lot to me <3
I love you Natalie for being proud to be who you are and standing up to the people who say not so nice things to you on Instagram or wherever. I will always support you. Period. Vegan or not, paleo, vegetarian…it doesn’t matter…if a person is a jerk, that pretty much ruins it all. Being kind and respectful is the most important attribute. I’ve seen many people become vegan and develop eating disorders and know exactly what you are talking about. I find it sad because it is not being vegan that is to blame, but rather deeper issues that sadly end up blaming veganism. All of it boils down to choice and everybody’s experiences are different. For me, going vegan, or plant-based I actually prefer these days, lol, was the best decision for my health and my hubby’s and there has been exceptional, positive and rewarding changes both mentally and physically. But I’ve never, not once, felt guilt about eating certain foods and sure as hell don’t fear fat or cookies, LOL! So, I’ve never had the negative side effects that some have experienced. I totally agree that some people truly fear these things. I got comments today on my ranch about it…I could feel their almost fear of the fat in the cashews. I honestly don’t understand it. To me, we should enjoy our food, not fear it. I know some have to watch their fat intake and I respect that but I see some people stress SO much over EVERY calorie and fat gram and how can one enjoy life worrying that much about food? And some almost get mad if I use fat, as if it’s possible to make every single person happy with a recipe?? It’s not. And even though I’m vegan, not one of my friends is and it has NEVER once been an issue because simply, I don’t care what they eat and they don’t care what I eat. Food is not the reason for our friendship. If people would stop making it such an issue and just respect each other, it would be a heck of a lot easier.
YESSS! Your comments have been better than my posts lately lol, so much truth here and I couldn’t agree more. It’s not veganism itself that is the issue it’s all the rules and guidelines and dogma that comes with it online that creates the fear for so many people. I sadly think that IG/YT is in large part to blame for the crazy high rate of eating disorders right now, and honestly it makes me want to buck the “rules” and put nut butter in everything even more just to prove IT’S OKAY. I love that you keep your recipes oil-free but fully embrace whole plant fats unapologetically! That is how it should be. Well except when ridiculously moist gingerbread cake happens without a drop of nut butter–don’t mess with that magic 😉 I hope one day the hashtags won’t matter and we can all just eat cake and not worry and not judge each other on anything but especially not on food. I know I say it every time I post one of these serious chats, but seriously you are so so amazing and your support means a ton to me <3
Oh, the place of fear… do I know about that! It’s so true that while there are people in the vegan community who are vegan for the right reasons, there also those who opt for veganism as a sort of excuse to mask their disordered behaviours.
I love following people like you who don’t just share delicious recipes but are also very open-minded. Still gonna follow you, no matter what your personal food choices are! 😉
Thanks for reading Natasha! I know and greatly respect many vegans who are truly doing it from a place of compassion and joy and that is wonderful. But yes, it’s sad/scary how many aren’t. And how hard it can be to differentiate the two when you are deep in it. Open-minded is the way to be in pretty much all of life I think😊 I really appreciate your support❤️
I love your honesty and defiance against those who would judge you. I’ve been a vegetarian for 15 years (since I was 15 years old), but have recently dabbled into veganism. All for the animals. But I don’t call myself a vegan. When people ask, I say vegetarian. With my close friends I say “pseudo-vegan.” Why? Because I make the choices I feel like in the moment. Do I cook vegan? Yes. And I will never eat meat— but if my niece offers me a cookie that she made all by herself, I’m not going to say no. I will eat it. We all make choices daily that are best for us and no one should judge us for it. There are too many people judging others, and you’re right, it leads people down a terrible path of fear and even worse, eating disorders. I follow blogs of vegans and non vegans alike— because I make choices for myself about what I want to cook and I’m capable of substituting ingredients when I don’t want to eat something in a recipe. It doesn’t offend me that the poster included it- I make it how I want. So long story short, I can really identify with your post and I appreciate you making it 🙂
Haha “pseudo-vegan” I love it😊 But I can totally relate to why you don’t use the labels or why people even say “plant based” instead. I remember so many times when I was vegan friends or family would say: Oh right, you CAN’T have that. Actually I can have anything I want thank you very much. Every situation/day/person is different, I think the less rules the better when it comes to diet too. The world is so much bigger when you don’t pick one diet box, I am all about appreciating other bloggers for their talent and voice and creativity far above what kind of #diet recipes they share. Thank you for reading and relating and your support, it means a lot to me Michelle❤️
I think it is amazing that you shared how you really feel. That is hard to do and I really struggle with it. I completely understand the shaming – it comes from both vegans and meat eaters. In the end, you need to do what’s right for you. Sending you lots of encouragement and hugs 💕
Hi Kaleigh! Thank you so much for reading and relating. The shame (or even moreso fear of shame) is hard, and why I waited until I felt confident in my decision to share. But it always surprises me how good it feels to share even if it’s kinda scary beforehand. Thanks for the support and lots of love to you❤️
I love you, Natalie!!!! For your transparency, your honesty, and really for just being YOU! I admire you for sharing this very real post with the world – I found myself nodding in agreement and getting a little emotional. Maybe because I can relate somewhat. It saddens me when I see people being so harsh in regards to other people’s diets and lifestyles. And for people to unfollow or unsubscribe because you’re no longer vegan is pretty silly. You are a human being, and a very talented and creative one at that…and if people can’t recognize or separate your diet from your content, well, that’s their loss. Josh was vegan with me for a few years and then decided that a vegetarian diet was better for him and made him feel better…can you imagine if I was a closed-minded vegan?? We need to realize that everyone’s body is different, if we all ate the exact same way, it would be pretty boring if you ask me! There’s a sense of freedom in doing what YOU want and not the so-called norm. Yes, I’m still vegan, BUT I’ve let go of what I’ve been programmed to think and instead follow my heart (and gut) 😉❤️ I’m using oil and LOTS of nut butter, and can I just say how much I’m loving salt these days too?? Haha! I’ve even accidentally eaten something with egg in it and didn’t die. I’m not going to ramble much more, but I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed reading this and please know you’ve always got a friend here!! And I look forward to your posts…I may not comment on every one of them, but I do read them all. Keep being YOU because I think you’re pretty great ❤️❤️❤️
Omg, also…that avo toast!! I’m dying. Must try grains again soon to see if I can eat bread 😂
And I love you for always reading and responding in a way that makes me laugh and feel so understood and supported all at once❤️❤️ It saddens me that people judge too, but what saddens me the most is the effects those judgments have on other’s mental and physical health that sometimes aren’t even obvious until we are so deep in it’s hard to see another perspective. I’m really grateful for the journey (that I think you can relate to) that it took me to get here because I feel like I can view that whole crazy internet diet world so much more objectively now…and eat a hell of a lot more nut butter and still feel awesome😄 Right?! Being open-minded is HUGE for health and relationships and all of life. Omg salt in EVERYTHING–I’m the same lately haha. Especially chocolatey things and sweet stuff. And yes I’ve been doing a lot more grains and bread and even a bit of spelt. Yay I am so so happy you are being more free and constantly experimenting with it all too🤗 Being more open to all foods is just more fun. Period. You are the best and I foresee bread in your future🤞
My Favorite. 🙂
Is this Arman, or someone Arman paid to be Arman?
P.S.❤️
Natalie, I follow your blog because of you and your wonderful recipes and not for what you eat, so I will happily continue to enjoy reading you blog. You should never feel ashamed of what you need to eat. As you get older, you learn not to care what other people think, especially if it’s very narrow minded and backward thinking people, don’t worry about them, totally ignore their ignorance. Some people choose specific diets for the wrong reasons. We should all eat, or not eat, what our bodies require so they function properly, your health is the most important thing.
I agree with getting rid of diet labels. Some people are too consumed with specific diets. Does anyone really think that cutting out major food groups is actually good for you? What happened to balance?? If you need to fulfill all your dietary requirements with pills or powders then you are not getting a natural balance from your food intake. I would prefer to get mine naturally than chemically.
What is scaring me, are these narrow minded adults that are forcing babies/children into specific diets and causing them to be malnourished and not developing properly, mentally or physically. People need to get off their high horses and feed children properly. When the children are adults, they can make their own INFORMED decisions. For those not liking my comments about children on specific diets google “vegan prosecuted”.
Sorry for the rant Natalie, sometimes I think people just need to go back to basics and think naturally 🙂
I love your perspective on diets and individuality, thank you for reading and sharing. I think it’s the labels and comparison and social media pressure that creates so much more shame nowadays than there used to be. I’m all about finding a place where you listen to internal rather than external cues when it comes to health. Even the word “balance” at this point has been hijacked by so many diets and lost it’s true meaning. And yes, the not caring what others think part is probably the hardest for me but getting easier and your support certainly helps 🙂 I also am somewhat passionate about how detrimental I think all the labels can be for mental health which is why I wanted to share my perspective too. It is scary that people are raising their kids on diets and messing up the natural intuition from the very start. Because no matter what choice the kids make later, how they were raised will still impact them for the rest of their lives. I appreciate the rant, it’s a really important point and I 100% agree with you. Thanks Tina <3
I <3 You Natalie! People find what they're looking for….there's a documentary out there to support every diet/lifestyle/etc. you can think of. All with conflicting views, all equally convinced if everyone doesn't eat/do/live exactly like them then they will surely die. Guess what? We're all going to meet our maker one day, and I'd much rather enjoy the journey with food freedom and lots of cookies! 😉 Any who, you're great. Your recipes are great. Haters gonna hate. <3
So so true, there is “science” to support just about anything you want to hear if you look hard enough. I love that you post recipes that are vegan and paleo and healthy and also just straight up chocolate decadence! It’s a beautiful example of embracing all the foods and none of the rules looks like, and your kids are lucky to be raised with that example of balance too. And all the cookies of course 😀
You are right 💕
Hi natalie.Just curious for no reason but do you eat meat now or just animal products? Your recipes are super yummy btw!!
Hi Una! Yes I do eat meat, I eat pretty much everything except dairy because my stomach is not a fan after so many years vegan 🙂 And I’m so happy you like the recipes!
So Natalie, not only have you given me wonderful recipes and interesting/fun stuff to read and pretty photos to look at, but now you’ve given me/us a community where we can be ourselves and try to do what we think is best, imperfect though it’s always going to be. I can’t find this anywhere else online. Vegetarians think vegans overdo it and focus an awful lot on cheese. Vegans would say I’m not vegan because I will swallow a pill that has gelatin on it and buy leather shoes if they are the only ones that fit (I won’t buy leather purses, but my feet can be hard to fit). They also would say (in fact, have said—I used to run a vegan Meetup group, so I got this) that you’re really not vegan if you also are doing it for your health—that it’s only for the animals. In fact, it’s actually a badge of honor in the vegan community to eat as much junk food as possible. A lot of vegans also seem to get off on looking at photos/videos of animal agriculture/abuse…the gorier the better. I understand how animals are used and abused—one of the reasons why I went vegan. But why do I have to see those photos constantly? they break my heart, but my looking at them doesn’t help an animal. I thought it was healthier to try to enjoy a meal to recharge and then fight the good fight—but they only wanted to talk about the awful things done to animals and look at the photos.
Don’t get me started on the raw vegans. It’s not as popular as it was—it is truly so difficult to do (love raw desserts, though!). There are definitely less raw blogs than there used to be. It’s been proven that some veggies are healthier cooked (like tomatoes), but no convincing them. One time I went to a raw food Meetup. A guy bragged that he ate so much produce that he never has to drink any liquids, not even a sip of water, since he gets all his hydration from fruits and veggies. Alright, then. You’re a better human being than me because I do have to drink water (I’d like to see him after a hot yoga class and see if he really wouldn’t indulge in some water!).
So I thought the WFPB people would be my tribe. Wrong! I get that oil, salt, and sugar aren’t health foods. But if a little of them help us get down some healthy veggies or just enjoy life a little bit more, is a little of them really going to injure our health? According to them, yes. There are Facebook groups where you can’t even post a recipe that has a little salt, oil, sugar. US News just came out with their rankings of 40 diets (paleo, keto, Atkins, vegan, Engine 2, Ornish,raw, Asian, etc.). Mediterranean and DASH tied for top overall diets and beat Engine 2 and Ornish even for heart-healthiness. I asked on one of the groups whether it gave them pause that a Med diet, even with the olive oil, comes out as healthy (I’ve heard it is healthy in spite of the EVOO— not because of it—but then why didn’t Engine 2/Ornish win?). I got censored! I wasn’t even allowed to ask the question.
Last year I thought I was diabetic because an A1C test showed I was as pre-diabetic as you can be—the next tenth of a number would be full-blown diabetes. I don’t have a family history of it. I exercise. I’m thin. Been eating plant-based for years. I was sick (psychologically—didn’t have any symptoms) about this. I made an appointment with an endocrinologist but they are so busy with all these patients that I couldn’t see her for 3 months. In the meantime, I tried to cut back on calories, sugar, and carbs like white flour. Of course all the WFPB insisted it’s because I had some oil—like1/2 a teaspoon per cookie. Saw the endocrinologist. Turns out I don’t have diabetes. I have a variant of my blood that renders false results with the A1C. So in my case at least, a little oil did not cause diabetes!
I thrive on the way I eat. I don’t count how many plants I eat a day. I just make fun, healthy food. Lots of greens and beans. Fruit with every meal. Veggies in as many colors as I can. And occasionally, a cheat, like a little bread as a carrot dog bun. And dessert (like a couple of cookies a night). At 64, I have tons of energy–taking yoga classes daily with people less than half my age. Not going to let the vegans shame me for caring about my own health and vitality! Not going to let WFPB shame me for a LITTLE oil/sat/sugar.
You keep doing you, Natalie. It’s like Dr. Seuss said, “Be yourself. Those who matter don’t mind. And those who mind don’t matter.” I’m just thrilled you will keep the recipes and blog/going. And if ever you want to post something that’s not vegan, that’s okay, too. It’s your blog. Those who don’t like it can just move on and wait for you to post what will be more to their liking.
You ROCK girlfriend. The foods you eat or do not eat don’t define you in any way, shape, or form. If it didn’t feel right or healthy for you, then your decision to pursue other things is completely justified.
Keep doing your thang because you are amazing!
Thank you for reading and for the support, friend <3 I've loved reading your thoughts and experience on the whole vegan > not anymore thing this past year too! SO very relatable and I could’t agree more that we are SO much more than what #diet we eat 🙂
A lot of people already stated what I’m thinking so I’ll keep this short. Thank you for creating amazing and delicious recipes are sharing them with us! Keep rocking on and do what feeds your soul (and body)
I love the way you said it Candace—”feeds your soul”. Nourishing ourselves is about a lot more than just calories and macros, there is an undeniable emotional component too 🙂 Thanks for reading and for the support!
You couldn’t have written it better! Thank you for being honest and sharing your journey and story, Natalie! I am glad you’re finally comfortable talking about your experience and you are moving beyond those fears and “wrong” reasons for being vegan. I truly enjoy everything you do – from your blog posts to your videos to your photos! Keep shining and doing you!
Thank you for reading Nisha, I truly appreciate your support <3 It felt hard to share when I was in the middle of it and still figuring it all out myself, but it always feels better to put things into words rather than just holding them in my head once I feel I could do so with grace. And I LOVE everything you do, you really inspire me with your work and beautiful personality too 🙂
aww now you’re making me blush! so glad we’ve connected and really hope to be able to meet in person one day!
NAT!!! I could not love this post more. Kudos to you for being so open and honest about this topic., Diet talk of any kind can be so tricky to navigate and even though you don’t owe anyone an explanation, you handled this with such grace and ease. SO PROUD OF YOU for prioritizing YOUR needs and making this healthy decision for yourself. Love your blog, recipes, and YOU so much. <3
I really appreciate you reading this one and your support, Kaila <3 It is definitely tricky to navigate especially working in the blog space when we are surrounded by it constantly. Self compassion has to be #1 though, and I've been pleasantly surprised and so grateful for all the support. Much love!
Thank you for writing this post! I appreciate your honesty, genuineness, and kindness – and they are far more important than any other “labels” 🙂
Thank you so much for reading this one and the kind supportive words, I really appreciate it and completely agree 🙂
Good on you, girl. Thank you for being you! It’s not easy, when the judgment comes so strong from the other side of the screen. You should not even think about it for a second. These people who judge you have their own issues. Keep posting delicious recipes (Even though I am not vegan, I LOVE them). Also, props on healing your relationship with food… I believe this is a really big concern, especially in recent years with different diet trends.
Hi Riley! I truly appreciate you reading this one. It is really scary how prevalent disordered eating is these days, and I think the internet is definitely in large part to blame. I’m always pleasantly surprised by the response I receive when I share these kinds of posts, proof that many others have had similar experiences and that it’s SO important to talk about it. Thank you for your kind support <3
I think your blog and YouTube channel have become my favorite sweet-recipe source on the internet! I’m not vegan and probably never will be though I eat a mostly vegan diet, but I totally respect your choice and anyone else’s to eat whatever they want. Not restricting yourself to certain foods is totally freeing! I remember when I was SUPER HCLF and would stress about a few seeds in whole grain bread. Ugh… Actually, I think seeing your transition to higher fat recipes helped me in a way to see that fat is not the enemy. Thank you for being so honest!
Wishing you all the best! ❤️
Thank you so much for reading! I absolutely remember doing the same thing in my hardcore HCLF days too, it’s funny how looking back that seems crazy but at the time it didn’t. Hearing that my higher fat recipes helped you be okay with more fat in your diet too means SO much to me!! That is a big part of why I want to share those recipes even though many of my followers don’t like them. It is so much more freeing and happy-making to just eat foods and not overthink it all 🙂 Much love <3
Hi,
I never comment on anything but your post got to me, you just said what I have been thinking and feeling lately. I have been in the vegan lifestyle for almost 3 years but I never call myself full vegan because I like to have that free opportunity to sometimes just live the moment and appreciate some non vegan food with my friends and family.
I think it’s easy to have this unhealthy mind set when people are to invested to follow a strict diet. I know I did and I have it sometimes. If my family or friend are cooking a special dinner and has some meat or eggs, I choose now to eat a bit and try to appreciate it. And not feel bad about myself.
Also I find it ironic that this community, vegans, are the most judgmental, it should be more welcomed to everyone even if they are making just little effort.
Anyway I love you blog and you recipes 😉 please continue to share them!!!
Maria! Firstly thank you so much for reading and taking the time to comment, I am glad you could relate and hopefully realize you are certainly not alone in feeling this way about veganism and diets in general. I have a lot of respect for you already for never fully calling yourself vegan and remaining open minded, I wish I had been that wise to approach to be less strict form the start. But I know it can still sometimes create guilt, which isn’t right or necessary. I encourage you to just think of food as food–no labels. It has been huge for me and made me much more relaxed and happy (in my diet and other parts of life too!) It is ironic indeed, I hope the vegan community will eventually see that. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and much love <3
I just recently discovered your website and have fallen deeply in love with it! I’ve tried several of your recipes and they are all amazing. Thank you for sharing your passion. You have my utmost respect and admiration and this does not come from a place of judgement. I just hope to change some hearts.
I feel compelled to comment on this post. I am a vegan, for all the “right” reasons. Knowing that I can not only live, but thrive on a vegan diet all while enjoying many varieties of food makes me appreciate more and more that this “choice” is the right one for me. This “choice” means that I do not to contribute to the imprisonment, torture, suffering and deaths of sentient beings who did NOT get a “choice”. I do not to contribute to the ever growing list of problems this planet is facing because of a diet “choice”. I do not to contribute to the chaos that my children and grandchildren will have to remedy. Clean water, enough food, clean air, trees, flowers, and blue skies are things I hope for my future generations to experience as I have. I also do not surrender my body to afflictions that are now considered to be normal consequences of this western “choice”–obesity, diabetes, heart disease etc. I find it extremely sad that we have come to call the underlying cause of these issues a choice. Society cannot seem to remove itself from the “it’s all about me, what I want in this moment” mentality and lack of compassion and awareness of others, both here now and those to come. I am an adult woman who knows in my heart that I am making the right choice. I will not be shamed for it, hide it, or be fearful, not when I know the end result of my choices. The only fear I experience is the fear that when society finally realizes the consequences for this “choice” it will be too late. Until then my diet will not be a choice. It will simply be. Peace starts with empathy.
Very beautifully said Lee. I have so much respect for your choice, and truly admire your surety. Thank you for reading and sharing your perspective and truth <3
Hi! This is very brave of you to share.
I went vegan for health issues (chronic Lyme) and then got a lot worse initially on a high sugar and fruit diet. I lost a lot of hair when I went vegan, and it has stopped shedding thank goodness. I also had jaundice, circles, and just felt blah.
I experimented with meat, but my inflammatory Lyme symptoms came back. Currently I am eating starch based and it is helping a ton, but things are not yet 100%. Have you noticed your hair has regrown now that you are eating meat since it fell out when you were vegan? How has your health transformed?
Thank you for sharing 🙂
Thank you so much for reading Jackie! I can relate to lots of your symptoms, although not the Lyme disease part, and I am glad that you have found something that works for you too 🙂 My digestion has gotten a TON better since not being vegan anymore and my energy is awesome on a higher fat and protein diet too. The hair is very very slowly getting better, and collagen is helping a lot with that. Always a journey and experiment, right 🙂
Natalie!! I love reading your posts but somehow missed this one in my email and stumbled across it today!
I’m not on Instagram or blogging much anymore, but just wanted to let you know that I’m still here supporting you from MI. 🙂 Blogging got to be too much with college and work and everything else in my life, so I’ve put it on the back burner for now.
Can I just say how much I love this post? I’ve been vegan for over 5 (!!!) years now, and am just this year realizing that it might not be the best thing for me in the long run. I’m so happy that I’m not the only one feeling this way. There’s such a stigma in the vegan community… if you’re vegan you HAVE to stay vegan or the vegan police will come after you!!
I write for Spoon University and I wrote an article about eating vegan at Panda Express a few weeks back. Multiple random vegans attacked me on Facebook (comments, messages) when I shared the post because apparently Panda Express is not truly vegan. These “compassionate vegans” made me feel bad about trying to HELP spread the vegan word, and it really rubbed me the wrong way. Sorry I was trying to help? It made me not want to be vegan if these are my companions, you know?! Not to say that this is what most vegans are like- I’ve “met” plenty online and in real life that are non-judgemental, kind human beings (like you!).
I read an earlier comment from Rachel that really struck me- “What would you call a person who mostly eats vegan but eggs and dairy occasionally? Vegans wouldn’t welcome them into their group and vegetarians would probably think they’re ‘too vegan’.” How true is this!?!
Anyway, I really love this post. Lately especially, now that I’m in college and live in a dorm and eat dorm food (NOT MANY VEGAN OPTIONS, MAN)… I can’t help but restrict myself. I don’t eat bread. I eat salad for every meal. Basically fruit and veggies are my diet (and peanut butter of course). I KNOW I’m really restricting myself but I can’t help it and it honestly scares me. Because I DON’T want to develop an eating disorder (cough orthorexia cough), but will if I stay on this path and keep restricting myself. The sentence in this post that most resonates with me is this one: “I went vegan for the right reasons, but eventually it became the wrong ones. It became this safe identity to avoid eating out and birthday party cupcakes and the majority of pre-packaged foods.” THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW I FEEL. YOU GET IT! And I’m sick and tired of restrictions. I’ve “cheated” a few times and tried a non-vegan cookie and chocolate. And you know what? I felt very guilty, but I was okay. It tasted weird (buttery!) but good, and it didn’t kill me/ my stomach. The whole process of “unveganizing” is so scary and hard though- the guilt! How do you do it? It’s just so daunting, since this has been my diet, my LIFESTYLE for so long. I’m still known as “the vegan” in my hometown haha.
Have you read “Breaking Vegan” by Jordan Younger (The Balanced Blonde blog)? She was vegan for a long time, built up a major following, and then developed orthorexia so she decided that she needed to stop restricting herself and not be vegan anymore. She got so much crap and so many people stopped supporting her. Because she did what she had to do for her health! And that’s not okay, because I believe that everyone should be able to eat how they want to eat. (Here’s a link to an article about her book: https://www.today.com/health/breaking-vegan-author-jordan-younger-confesses-dirty-secrets-clean-eating-t55086 ).
Thank you again for this post. And let’s all support each other in the “healthy” community! Eat what makes you feel good 🙂 Even if it’s an egg every once in a while lol. Sorry this post was so long. I just guess I had a lot more to say on the topic than I thought.
Love,
Peanut Butter & Ellie
Ellie! First of all it is wonderful to hear from you my dear, I miss interacting with you on IG and I truly appreciate you taking the time to read this post <3
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling with the internal sneaky food rules and judgements, but actually incredibly happy to hear that you are questioning veganism and not just sticking with it because it's familiar and safe. I feel like the longer you do it the harder it is to turn back, but also the more those good/bad food judgments creep in. And the backlash from the vegan community makes it 10x harder to know what YOU want and need.
Some people may disagree, but I think vegan can work and feel great for a long time but there is a point (for me it took 6-7 years) where it starts to just feel too extreme. Both physically and the social isolation was a big piece for me too. It's all those people who've only been doing it for a few years and talk about it on social media like it's the ONLY way that frustrates me. You are definitely not the only one who has reached this point, since having posted this I've received comments from many people who feel the same way and kind of stuck in it. I haven't read Breaking Vegan, did you find it helped you feel more okay with not being vegan anymore? I've luckily received (almost) nothing but support, which makes me happy for the world--open mindedness is everything if you ask me.
I don't really believe there are any clear cut lines when it comes to orthorexia. At least not for me and most women I've talked to. It's kind of a constant flux and constant blocking out all the messages telling us to restrict instead of nourish and care for ourselves. Travel helped me a TON with realizing my body has the capacity to handle most anything I throw at it, it doesn't have to be all clean and whole foods all the time. And actually too much raw fruit/veg doesn't work well for my stomach. And also I've realized that eating a less than perfect meal with good company makes me feel better than any salad ever will 🙂
I'm really glad you are aware of it, so many people are not. And I hope you keep eating the eggs and the cookies and find a way with food that works for you. I've found kind of a happy equilibrium now that is still in large part vegan but the freeing part is it's a choice in the moment not a have to. I am sending you tons of luck and love! And always here to chat if you need <3
Can you give us recipe for this chocolate avocado toast? I can’t find it anywhere.