It’s not that I was thinking: “Wow, I am at such a great place with food and body image I should really write a post about that.”
It’s the opposite. I haven’t thought about my relationship to food or my body very much at all the past year, that’s how I know I’m at a pretty good place with it all.
There was no single, magic, suddenly-it’s-easy button, but recent conversations with a few different friends (especially this lady) on the topic inspired me to reflect and share. So these are some of the things that have helped most for me…
No Diets
No diets, no labels, no rules. I’m not vegan or paleo or vegetarian or flexitarian or anything-itarian. I just eat foods I like and skip ones that make me feel not so awesome.
Because I still exist in the world of food blogging, people frequently ask me what my diet is like and I don’t really have a good answer. Sometimes I’ll say it’s paleo-ish…but then I remember I eat grains…and sugar…and processed things. Or it’s plant-based because I do still have a lot of veggies and fruits in my life…but then there’s the meat and fish and collagen and occasional eggs. So I can’t put it in a pretty box, and I like it that way.
It’s been a few years now since I’ve followed a diet of any kind (vegan), and at this point I don’t know how I ever did it. Or better question: WHY?
And I know I’ll probably get some pushback for this one, because if you follow my blog chances are high that you are vegan (and I completely respect that choice!) But having to get I.V. iron infusions because my levels are so low my hair is falling out is no joke, and being vegan for seven years was not unrelated.
I feel great eating high fat/protein with lots of (cooked) veggies and berries and coconut and some grains and plenty of chocolate in there too. But I figured that out through trial and error and listening to my own body, not following any books or programs.
I’m already high maintenance enough as it is, I don’t also want to have so many food restrictions I can’t out eat anywhere socially – that’s no fun. So at home I feel best not eating gluten and dairy, and that feels easy to do. But if I’m out and sharing wings or fried pickles with friends that are definitely breaded in some gluten, you better believe half that basket is mine.
Working With a Nutritionist
And not just any nutritionist but the right nutritionist too. One that knows it’s not really about the food but about self worth and social pressure and upbringing and habits and fears. One that knows meal plans and macros aren’t going to heal anything. One that is happy to hear I’m working out less and eating dessert more.
For me that was this lady, who I respect and admire in so many ways and who made me feel incredibly supported. Struggling with food and body image can feel really isolating, so being able to give up control and trust someone else to GET IT and guide me was huge.
It took me a long time to ask for external help besides friends and family, but I wish I’d done it sooner. It wasn’t until months after I worked with her that I truly recognized the impact of it.
Travel
In the past few years, travel has become one of my favorite things and a big priority in my life. I learn more about myself spending two weeks in another country than I ever could at home. It’s quite literally hopping on a plane, destination: outside my comfort zone. Which is where all the good/challenging/fun/growth stuff happens.
Other countries aren’t America with nutrition labels in English, or ingredient lists and calorie counts on menus, or grocery stores with familiar “clean” brands. And at first that was hard for me, but now I love it. It’s empowering and freeing, and I always try to bottle up and bring back as much of that worry-less-enjoy-more mindset as possible.
Gelato shop in Australia with no dairy free options? Yep, I’m probably gonna go for it. My stomach may hate me later, but double scoop please.
First sip of a matcha latte and I can instantly tell it’s 80% sugar because matcha is barely a thing in small town north Florida, much less unsweetened matcha? Not a big deal – it’s one drink, it’s more milkshake than matcha, but it will be finished.
Unidentified starchy fry-like things served to me on a beach in Fiji? I don’t really care what they are, yes I do want more. (Breadfruit! It was fried breadfruit and it was delicious.)
Raw salmon in a poke bowl in South Africa? Okay that actually was a mistake…but not for food restriction reasons
It’s easy to control every food choice when I’m at home by myself with my own car to go grocery shopping and kitchen to cook in. But a forced lack of control is good for me.
Photos
This one may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.
The mirror? Not my objectivity friend. It’s too real time, too easy to let my eyes zip to my flaws and insecurities and overlook the fact that my hair looks damn good today or that I have the worlds most perfectly proportioned feet. Actually the smaller my bathroom mirror, the better. And I consciously only engage with that full length one on the back of my bedroom door on days I’m already feeling good about myself.
But photos can often be a more objective and honest perspective for me. I usually only turn on the iPhone camera in moments where I’m feeling good (also whoever invented portrait mode, you are my favorite person), and I know my angles. Snap them, put them away, and come back tomorrow with those VSCO filters – time can do a lot for how I see myself.
We are all our own worst critics, so realize that other people see your beauty where you are laser-focused on flaws in a photo and in real life. Don’t doubt or deny every compliment, accept them with gratitude and give them freely as well.
You could say this is overly focused on physical appearance, but we all have eyes and appearance does matter in this world – I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Being proud of my appearance isn’t about vanity, it’s about confidence and taking the time to take care of myself both inside and out. When I choose to wear a strappy sundress it isn’t for attention, it isn’t becuase I have the world’s most toned shoulders or perfect tan. It’s because I’m feeling good and it makes me happy.
Dating
Dudes are difficult in a lot of ways, but food is not one of them.
If you feel experience emotions even half as deeply as I do, this is the best distraction from, well, EVERYTHING else in life. The fun of flirting and falling, all the overthinking, the sadness when my heart is hurting – these emotions are crazy strong and completely override any bad body image thoughts for me.
Did I just eat ice cream for dinner? Yes. Was it the most healthful decision? No. But with the tornado of emotions currently tearing a path through my brain, that’s the least of my worries.
Really this has just given me perspective. It has made me realize that life is about so much more then what I choose to eat or not to eat. Connections and relationships (friend, family, or romantic) are the most important thing in life in my opinion, and make food choices seem inconsequential in the big picture.
Also eating around men and seeing the minimal amount of thought that goes into what they choose to eat…it’s honestly beautiful. They decide so much more based on WANT not SHOULD than women. This is the dietary energy I need in my life. Observe, absorb, mimic as much as possible.
I would never have eaten a big breakfast and then brunch one hour and a stroll through IKEA later, or Taco Bell at 12:30 AM because nothing else is open, or nearly as many drive-through burgers with my girlfriends. Shoutout to men for all those experiences and realizing “imperfect” food choices can be nourishing too.
Clothes
I feel very fortunate to work for myself and never have to worry about dressing professionally. But I have found when I shower and do my hair/make-up and wear something I feel good in, I’m a happier human even if I don’t leave the house all day. As fun as working in your pajamas may sound, it’s really not the key to success.
I’ve learned that high waisted jeans make me feel like a grandma. And crop tops make me unnecessarily self-conscious about my stomach. And short shorts are my favorite because I love my legs. And dresses make me feel light and free in a way that usually leads to dancing around my apartment.
I’ve also learned that every outfit looks better when I’m not stick thin. And I feel more feminine at a higher weight (not that I weigh myself, but you get me) too.
So I wear what makes me feel attractive for myself, even if it’s not always trendy or age-appropriate. Even if it gets repetitive sometimes (what can I say, I love a black tank and denim shorts). Even if some days it’s a T-shirt and yoga pants because that feels like the outfit equivalent of self-care and some days that’s what I need.
Exercise
For years it was nothing but yoga for me because that felt like the most gentle and nourishing way to move. But damn was I burnt out. For a while that manifested as doing nothing but walking because I was afraid going to a gym would be bad for my mental progress around body image. But about 6 months ago I walked into L.A. Fitness, signed up for a membership on the spot (in typical impulsive Nat fashion), and discovered I love strength training.
I also discovered that 1) I don’t love cardio, so the ellipticals and treadmills are not my people 2) sometimes I won’t feel like going, maybe for weeks even, and that’s okay 3) I can be in a gym and be okay going at my pace, not killing myself, not comparing myself to everyone around me. And feeling strong feels SO much better than looking skinny.
I don’t know a woman (especially living in the US and raised with some amount of privilege) who hasn’t struggled with these things to some extent in her life. And while I don’t think these thoughts will ever be completely gone, especially with social media seemingly here to stay, I have learned how to protect myself from them and love myself through them in a way that feels more solid than it has in years.
Thanks for reading ♡
You are so lovely and thoughtful. This was so wonderful to read and I’m so happy that you’re finally at a place where you don’t think about food and body image all the time. As a woman who falls into the raised-in-the-US-with-some-amount-of-privilege category, I can definitely relate on some level to many of these things. And when we’re not so hyper focused on our bodies and what we eat, it’s easy to remember how many wonderful things there in life- Friends and family, love, nature, and the list goes on!
I really appreciate you taking the time to read, Nisha😘 And yes, does seem like something most women can relate to in some way. I had a very female dominated childhood, which I think is part of it too. It’s funny how sometimes we are making the most progress when we don’t even realize it ha. And yes absolutely a MILLION more important things in this world❤️🤗
I adore this post and think that all future posts should now be voice recorded in the middle of the night! But seriously Natalie, reading about your recent experiences surrounding body image is wonderful. Thank you for sharing. Xo
Hahaha! I may adopt that method of writing, definitely feels more natural and conversational…although sleep is good too😆 Thank you for reading Corey, means so much to me😘❤️
Awesome blog post hands down Nat. Thank you for opening up and sharing with us your perspective. I’m going through a transition of sorts myself so hearing this from you really makes me feel better. I don’t have any major physical symptoms (that I am aware of anyway) but I have been noticing how the ‘dieting’ culture is negatively affecting my mental health. I agree with you wholeheartedly that food plays a big part in social/travel experiences, and I’m also with ya on the labels thing. We should totally get rid of ’em. 🙂 Anyway, thanks for sharing. Love your work!!!
Aw thanks for reading Jen! The transition stages are always bumpy and confusing in my experience, but also exciting in some ways. The chance of finding something better than what I’ve been doing, something that feels better than I realized it could is always exciting to me. So all the luck and love to you! Thanks for reading and relating, lovely❤️❤️
Thank you for recording all the thoughts, beliefs, wisdom that has been bouncing around in my head in a single blog post because I agree 110% with everything you say here! Victoria is awesome and it’s reassuring and refreshing to follow her and other professionals/bloggers with a similar non-diet mentality and lifestyle! It’s so fun learning more about you – it makes your recipes really come to life. Thanks for sharing what’s on your heart <3
That makes me so happy to hear, Ashley🥰 I am glad much of this felt true for you too. And yes, Victoria is amazing, I am really grateful I had the opportunity to work with her in person! Thank you for reading and your always kind words❤️ Much love my dear!
I loved reading this! So glad to hear that you’re in a great place. Thank you for sharing and opening up with all of us 🙂
Loved this and I’m happy for you. I try to eat the best I can at home, but I’m like you and when I’m out, I eat what I want and no longer stress about it and it’s made my life so much less stressful. Traveling in the RV in these small towns with NO Sprouts and TJ’s and barely a decent grocery store has brought me back to reality and made me much more humble as well. I do the best I can and if I want a regular ice cream cuz there’s not a non dairy one..I’m getting it. Love you girl!
YES!! Oh man, I bet RVing has been a whole new adventure when it comes to food😆 And yes, I am currently living in a tiny town with barely decent grocery stores the closest “health food store” an hour away, so I feel you. That’s actually been really good for me too (and saving SO much money😂) I love what you said about humility–SO TRUE! Not always eating perfectly is really about humility too, realizing that life isn’t going to always be perfect and we shouldn’t expect it to be. Thank you for the thoughts and for reading Estee❤️
Thank you for sharing! You really seem like the type to want to make things come naturally when integrating changes into your life. I feel that.
Authentic and wholesome. That’s why your blog is so awesome, and that is why YOU are awesome. Thank goodness, a REAL person lol. Thanks for your recipes and thanks for your word!
That is a wonderfully, accurate read on me, YES! I love that you could sense that from reading this, it makes me feel more confident that my words came across as genuine as I hoped☺️ I love the food stuff, but honestly real talk and vulnerability and talking about the messy stuff is something I enjoy SO much too!
I’m going to try my best to not write a novel here, but hot damn, Natalie, I’m proud of you!!!! ❤️❤️❤️ And you should be incredibly proud of yourself! I know that sounds like a very mom thing to say, but it’s true. For opening up and sharing some very personal thoughts, for being able to recognize the beautiful parts about yourself (I’m not kidding when I say I got teary-eyed reading much of this post), but most of all for how far you’ve come ❤️ it truly has been a beautiful thing to witness over these few years that we’ve connected. I am over the moon HAPPY for you to have reached this amazing place of contentment and awareness. Reading this was very inspiring and only amplified my respect and admiration for you. We need more posts like these (not necessarily from you!) because it makes the people behind the creations and camera more real and relatable…and makes readers feel less alone and more human. Kinda goes along with what we chatted about ☺️ Thank you for sharing such a beautifully written, thought-provoking post. Love you, friend ❤️❤️❤️❤️
Dawwww! You are the absolute best, and have no idea how much your feedback means to me on❤️ On pancakes too of course, but so much moreso on this real stuff. It’s beautiful to find people who just GET you and aren’t afraid to talk about the hard/messy/important stuff. I appreciate you so much❤️❤️ It doesn’t come across like a mom in a weird way at all, just like someone who cares which we all are here to do for each other regardless of relation☺️ Oh trust me, LOTS of this was inspired by our conversations so it definitely goes along with what we chatted about. Can I go ahead and come back for those 200 nights now?😂 Miss chatting with you in person, but can’t wait to read your post as soon as it feels right to share😘😘
😂😂 Absolutely! Although I’m pretty sure you’d get here and she’d up the number of nights 😉 You will always have a room here with us if you find your way back to Bend ❤️ I showed Willow this beautiful photo of you and Nolan and she declared, “We have to go meet Nolan, Mom!” It was so wonderful to finally meet you in person and have you here – chatting with you felt like catching up with an old friend ❤️ and it was a great change of pace to talk with someone who understood….which is why I always enjoy reading your posts here. Thanks for being YOU 😘
Natalie, I wish I could write more but I really am speechless. All of this was so beautifully written and every word was inspiring. Thank you, thank you for sharing and opening up. You’re the best, never forget that.
Aw thank you so much for saying that Hanna❤️ It felt like a nice cathartic reflection to write this post, and the fact that you took time to read it means a ton to me! So are you, much love my dear😘
I agree with everything! Thank you so much for this post. 🙂
I really appreciate you reading this one💕
This post made me so so happy to read! I have been struggling with my relationship with food and my body image for some time now, so you can imagine how fast I clicked on this post when I read the title. I check up on here for recipes but am so delighted that you shared your words as well because they were just the ones I needed to hear! You are SO great!
Thank you for reading and for the beautiful feedback Ellie❤️ It feels good to share about the real/hard/messy life stuff, not just food sometimes. Much love and lots of luck to you😘
Natalie!! You are absolutely gorgeous!
You don’t need any photography skills to capture your beauty! I’m so in awe of your creativity. You answer every comment and you’re so gracious. That’s so very attractive, and very rare. No, I’m not praising you as s dude; I’m praising your artistry, your creativity and your natural beauty. Sorry if this makes you blush. But thank you for allowing me the opportunity to say this! 😊😊😊
Thank you so much for the kind words, Gray! I am really grateful to you for taking the time to read this post and comment. Hopefully I didn’t make this one seem exclusively written for women, but it is a struggle I can only personally relate to from a female perspective. I know being a man in our current world/culture has many of it’s own challenges, and I truly wish those things were talked about more too. Real vulnerable conversation on all levels is my favorite thing😊 Much appreciated, and happy weekend to you!
Although I focused mainly on your photo attached to the blog; rest assured I read every word. I have tremendous respect for your multiple talents which include your lovely writing skills. Please forgive me for focusing on your physical attributes. I hope my words conveyed my appreciation for your communicative prowess as well as your talent for developing unique culinary delights!!! 😊😊😊 You are fabulous and inspiring! Thank you. ☺️
Thank you for sharing this part of you. I did not know. I didn’t know you were not vegan anymore and I didn’t know that you were dealing with all these emotions. It is hard for us vegans to learn about our favorite food bloggers not being vegan or plant-based anymore, like we lost a star player from our team. We want everyone to be thriving and living their best life in this lifestyle. I don’t know why you went vegan in the first place but it was about animals for me. That’s why the label is important, again, for me. But I did not have to deal with the things you did. I did not walk in your shoes. It’s easy to think like did you go to a plant-based doctor or did you eat this or that. But that kind of thinking is not productive. We all make our own choices to the best of our abilities at that time. I am glad you are doing better now. And I am very grateful that you have been continuing to provide all these delicious, oil free, simple and vegan recipes for everyone to enjoy. Thank you!
Thank you for reading and offering your perspective, Oz! I have shared before on here about no longer being vegan when I made that decision a few years ago, but yes much of my audience doesn’t know still since all my recipes are still vegan. I did originally go vegan for ethical reasons, but eventually I had to do what was best for me mentally/physically even though it was a hard decision. I appreciate your compassion and understand very much❤️
Natalie, thank you for this beautiful and well thought post. This resonated so much with me, I feel like everything else I may add to this is just a repetition of what you already said. I’m there with the body image issues, but I’m quite comfortable around labels, even though I completely get it why people find them so unnerving sometimes. I started having issues when I got bullied in school, but now I’m older, quite past that, but I still don’t want to be noticed and this reflects the way I like to dress: loose shirts, comfy trousers and comfy shoes. I hate shopping (unless is food or skincare shopping :D) and I can’t stand frilly things.
I say I’m vegan but I eat mostly pasta with things mixed in (I blame my being Italian), and chocolate: your blog is a safe heaven but also torture for my sweet tooth. I hate the words “clean” and “cheat” when related to food but I like “healthy” and “comfort”. I don’t know where I am at, but I’d like being more active and work out, not just for comfort it gives to the outside body, even though that is undeniable, but also for how it makes me feel inside: strong, full of energy. At home I got comments saying I’m not “feminine” enough, but I don’t care.
I never posted on here, but I love your recipes, your stunning photos (I so want to take photography classes) and you opening up about this topic. I love glittery Instagram but sometimes it doesn’t feel real, but this does. Do what is best for you and your body, and eat and dress the hell you want 😛
Your dog is beautiful! (and so are you)
I appreciate you so much Valerie for reading and relating and sharing your own experience with these things. I think REAL is exactly what I wanted it to be, so that feedback means a lot to me❤️ These things seem to affect so many of us in one way or another, always good to talk about them more I think. I completely feel you on not liking to use those sorts of inherently judgmental adjectives around food and body too, everyone is different and no one thing is “healthy” for all of us. I do hope you take your own advice and do whatever the hell you want with food and dress as well! Less caring is better here I think😊 Much love!
Natalie! Reading this blog was like reading my mind. So glad you put these words on figurative paper for the world to see. We need more content like this and less pro-diet, psychotic fitness content! You speak to me and many others. Also making your Brownie Mousse Cake tonight and hope it turns out half as good as yours looks. I couldn’t get any gems!
Aw Deb, you have no idea how much your comment made me smile! I am really grateful to you for reading and relating, and I couldn’t agree more that that is what the internet health/food world needs😊 Hope your cake comes out perfect!
Natalie, as women we are constantly battling ourselves and it just causes stress/anxiety/stupid fad diets etc etc. We are all beautiful, imperfections and all. The only thing we have to do is take into account our individual genetics (eg, no point wanting to be 6 feet tall, when you’ll only be 5!!), accept and love ourselves. Stress is very bad for us. Letting go of beating ourselves up and caring what ignorant others think, is very freeing. We need to focus on enjoying ourselves and looking after ourselves, mentally/physically etc the best we can, with the time that we have.
I have been following you for a very long time now from a far away land!!. You are beautiful, intelligent, a fantastic recipe creator and a great writer. Believe in yourself as we do and I’m sure many others do to xx
Thank you so much for reading this one Tina, and I could not agree more with what you said on this topic. Self judgement never helps and being perfect is definitely not our purpose. Thank you for the kind words❤️
I always knew I liked you Natalie! 😉 But I seriously just felt like I read something I wrote myself that’s how much I relate to this post! “I’m already high maintenance enough as it is” <— YES and AMEN! LOL! I just had my 5th baby and after all of my previous 4 I "bounced back" super fast and had abs again within the first 5 months postpartum. This time I just don't care – in the best possible way! Yes I still exercise and eat mostly healthy meals with lots of veggies…but I also eat my fair share of dessert. I know I could lose those extra 5 lbs but WHY? I don't need to and I'm happier and have a sense of freedom I haven't had before. I have learned to love my body for growing 5 tiny humans and not beat myself up to try to be some "pre-partum" version of who I once was. Also, what you said about men is SO spot on! I often (ok daily) wish my hubby would exercise even one day a week. But I'm grateful he doesn't obsess about food (because over the last 12 years I've done that enough for both of us)! AND he loves me just the way I am! Ok now that I wrote you a book in response I just have to summarize with THANK YOU for being real and posting this! 🙂
Aw Laura! You have no idea how much it means to me that you took time out of your I’m sure crazy summer life with 5 kiddos to read this❤️❤️ It seems so many of us in this space struggle with these things, or perhaps every person/woman does and we just talk about it more publicly. I truly cannot imagine how much pregnancy and all the body changes that come with would amplify these things, but GOOD FOR YOU for not caring. Realizing there are SO many things SO much greater to worry about and celebrate is the biggest and most impactful thing to minimizing these worries imo. Ha yes, so happy to have guys as role models to keep it all in perspective😊 I aspire to have their level of chill (on some things, still gonna be unapologetically high maintenance on others😂) Your comment has such a beautiful sense of joy and inner peace wrapped in it, made me happy just to read😘 Have a great sunday! xo
Okay, I think everyone has already written what I think, so I won’t write a novel as well 😉 (even though I’d like to but I have work to do…at home as well x) So I’ll just say I was here for the raspberries bars recipe and the comment I posted yesterday that you so nicely answered to, and I went to your home page and saw this post and was really interested by the subject. And I can say I really do relate to what you’re saying about what you do, and it’s rather unbelievable for me to find people that feels the same for the tiny little things here where I live, and reading someone so far away that write what I feel…it’s nice :), really nice. Thank you for sharing!
I am so happy you can feel many of your own thoughts in this post too! Relating and realizing we aren’t the only ones is so helpful with this stuff too, and I love what you said about “so far away” because distance really is irrelevant with these issues I think. Much love and appreciate for reading and taking the time to comment❤️ Hope your brownies turn out perfect!
This is so encouraging and inspiring. I love it. Thank you for sharing, Natalie <3
Thanks for reading Abby, I really appreciate it <3
Hi Natalie, great post! 🙂 I totally get where you’re coming from and especially as someone leaving an eating disorder behind, just eating what you want and makes you feel good is wonderful. Congrats on finding what works for you! Just one thing: If you write veganism made you deficient in iron without reflecting on it further, you’re promoting a harmful stereotypes: You cannot be vegan without being iron deficient. This is not true at all and I wish you had written that. Maybe you’re prone to anemia, maybe you didn’t eat iron rich foods, maybe… There are many reasons and just blaming being vegan is bs. I am prone to iron deficiency anemia, too. I just take a supplement, because being vegan is the best we can do for our environment and the animals (and thus ultimately ourselves). You don’t have to agree with me on that and I honestly suppose, you’re doing better than most by probably not eating tons of meat everyday. That said, you have a platform here and therefore a responsibility, so please don’t spread these harmful stereotypes that make people not want to go vegan.
Thanks for reading and sharing your thoughts! I did try many different iron supplements as well, and was still deficient. I know there are differing opinions out there on iron sources/types, but based on my personal experience and the speaking with my hematologist the absorbability really is different between plant vs. animal sources. I’m just here to share my own experience, and without being a certified nutritionist/dietician or doctor I don’t really feel it is my place to dive into it any more than that 🙂
Thank you, M!!
I was hoping someone would speak up and say exactly what you said.
I’ve been an ethical vegan for seven years and my kids who are 7 & 5 years old have never known anything different.
We have full checkups done every year and always have perfect bloodwork. I don’t buy much junk food and sneak lots veggies into meals (even desserts) as much as possible!
Natalie! I just love reading your posts and learning more about you. This is such a relatable and thoughtful insight into your life- thank you for sharing this. I can identify with much of it, and I have no doubt many others do as well. I have truly enjoyed following along with your journey and just so you know- your recipes are always my go-to for baking. 🙂
That means so much to me Chloe!! And yes sadly I think it is a very relatable experience for many, but hey always learning more about myself which I am grateful for☺️ Much love to you!